crash and cornerstones

2011-04-28T07:57:00.000-07:00

one year.. one whole year. 12 full months. man.. i just want to say im not as strong as i think i am. i need challenge in my life. i hate regimentation. and i have poor discipline. next 10 month resolution? swear less, think less, complain less. frown less, scold less. smile more, laugh more, love more,count my blessings,

this roller coaster of emotions. tells me im too attached to he things of this world. abandon and surrender.

abondon and surrender

2011-03-04T08:13:00.000-08:00

oh

Im pressed but not crushed
persecuted not abandoned
struck down
but
not
Destroyed

It takes perspective
in the light of eternity
where a thousand days on earth is a day in His courts
What is
1 year 10 months
it's really only equivalent to 3.00pm to 3.07pm in His courts

So hold up
all the anger and bitterness is killing me from the inside

The boy with clenched fists is releasing it slowly
through disciple and meditation
he will, be completely at peace
and the lines on his hands slowly disappear

2011-02-27T07:10:00.000-08:00

O My Soul...
O My Heart
If only it was not ripped apart.

Take away take away
away with this world, with it's trades

Shut up
be still, what was given to me
merely was taken back
quit complaining

When that man saw
sawed off all the wires and strings
he had no choice

Whatever you're doing,
inside of me
It feels like chaos, somehow theres peace
It's hard to surrender, to what I cant see
but I'm givin in to something heavenly (Sanctus Real)

2011-02-26T04:46:00.000-08:00

crave and rave for the sinking ship
loaded with bricks upon boring bricks
when its gone, its never coming back
fact... dont hold back
lose your grip, control and even
your sanity.
to spin in deeper into a surrendered, surrenderee.

a surrendered, surrenderee.

so pull up the anchor.
full steam ahead!
a new uncovetedwaters await!

2011-02-22T22:58:00.000-08:00

insatiable desire leads to lead
heavy and black.
just as a hunter hunts for survival
the animalistic longing for more. to survive. survival, not denial.

so that desire conceived and born again. a haughty fruit with unlimited persuasive power. you seal your heart to it? will you? will me? will I?

yet it was not
to be... the mighty holy hand. .. rescued me

2011-02-21T18:56:00.000-08:00

its the dawn of something new
where the old has gone
where my sin forgone

the loss of hope
replaced by an eternal hope
time cannot encapsulate
somthings simply cant emulate
how blessed i am
to have been tried n tested
to refine n define.
so u may not understand. the runaway mind needs a place to rest.
to fall in love once again

2011-02-21T06:49:00.001-08:00

let the hungry hunger no more
all that was and has been
the tears fears angered heart
fighting, struggling scratching.
rapping and tapping of the impatient mind
unable to let nature do it's kind

Drink down the cup
the steel plated cup thats rusted inside
is only an opposite resemblence of what the drinker is
a steel given heart yet lets his shell ebb away in a grotesque fashion
containing the crystal clear
the remains of a lasts man's hopes and fears
peering down into those wavy dancers

it's all in his head
it's all in his head

What is worth. has lost its worth
the castle has been torn down
the prestiege, cracked and stained
there came those clinking
of steely parts they galloped in. Asking "When will THIS CASTLE BE CLEAN"
The king stoop up, looked around

All my efforts have lifted my head off the ground

All around he doesnt see
The friendly helper that saved his life
Because surrounding the king were the cold and rusty armor
of a wrong war fought.

Looks at his hands.
Looks at his disdain
Looks at his castle
Took off his crown and threw it down.

It's so unclear, it's so unfair. Never I mind. He was always there
My heart is clogged with the tar of Sin. Yes... but I am already cleansed from within
Don't stop me now, from taking ground. The ought to have lived life have now been found.

Crack and Reappear. It's not the emptiness that I fear
but the crowded-ness surrounding the empty cup
that makes the empty, emptier.

Pour and fill. I'm Getting better still.
Yes, I'm better than you
Im victorious over you and my Father had long ago proven that to you.

2010-09-21T07:44:00.000-07:00

This is getting too much...

I want to stay strong. to keep up my faith. to be the best of myself. but for once. even if it's just for awhile. I have to say. I give up. I want to let things pass. I want to drink till im drunk. I want to make enemies. I want to feel selffish. I want to be angry. I want to be childish. because I have been trodding a path so uncertain. so very uncertain. And how can people understand. how I have fought the fight for 6 years. how I battled injury. Shame. and encountered victory. all the time I sacrificed. I had a dream before I entered the sports school. and it was to live to my fullest potential. to be the best that i can be in my sport. since i was in. I alwasy had that desire. that burning passion. with such a flame so strong. it had not burned out for close to 6 years. the test of the power of the flame lies not with the intensity of which it burns, but with the duration in which it burns. surviving the harsh winter colds. in my heart. yes. I still want it very much. i still have so much to give to the sport. im not giving up without the great fight. it dont matter how or what others do or say. I am going to do whatever it takes. whatever it takes. . whatever it takes.

or now so the door may seem to be rather closed. but after a drink or two my worries seem to blend in with a bad dream. in the end. at the very end. I will go down saying, at least I tried my very best and I believed. I truly madly believed in my dream. and I wanted to bad enough to make my days count. yes yes yes yes yes

even in the midst of complete corruption can rise a hero to bring reformation.

do something. oh Lord do something... DO SOMETHING.

or otherwise take away my love for my sport. take it all away. that I may be a normal guy.
amongst normal people. living a normal life.

but from the start i never wanted to be normal.

2010-08-22T05:24:00.001-07:00

Thank you for all you have done.

You were the first example of a Christian I looked up to.
One that Modelled Leadership practically and with passion.
I thank God that He has put you here for us, here for me.
I always looked forward to your teaching.
It had more than once brought me
tears
Joy
Reassurance
Conviction
Hope

You have such passion within you
You have such a love for the Lord
It overflows when you speak

You have been a strong pillar for us. You have done an amazing work
Now that you have to go... I pray you shall realise the dreams and visions the Lord has
placed upon your heart. I pray you shall be a simple tool in the mighty hand of God

Accomplishing Great and Mighty Things in the Name of the Lord...

Bringing Heaven to Earth, Hope to the people around you.

May you continue to Love the Lord your God with all your Heart, Soul, Mind and Strength.
For that is the greatest commandment we have as believers in Christ Jesus.

May the Ministry you have be coated with the hand of God. With His Power demonstrated through His Holy Spirit in you. In mighty and miraculous ways, I pray you shall win souls for the Lord. As you have taught us how to win souls.

May God Bless you abundantly

2010-07-09T08:36:00.000-07:00

i cant really explain what I feel and how I feel.

It's a sucky posting. Camp. vocation. It's going to be 5 months of trainee. In which. I dunno how much I will be able to train. Talking about training. I don't even feel like training anymore. I hate it when I see my friends in track dropping out here and there. Here I am feeling like doing the same thing. Why do I even want to bother so much. to seemingly tire myself out more by doing my own personal training... on top of the already chiong trng of my vocation? all of this for what? A dream, A passion but yet when I want to get somewhere. I can't. This would have to be the sian-est thing that happens to me.

I took the risk but I never knew that a man could be vocationally trained for 5 months. not enough research and not a very informed decision.

So stay positive... The commitment to track? The will to continue? Now as this chiong man in the army. I have little with me. I wish I could drink this phenomenon away. but thats obviously is not going to work.

jailed for 5 months in some chiong place thats sandwhiched be vegetation and cemetery. I dunno but I think Im suay. Things could be worse. I could be born in Africa.

2010-04-08T03:02:00.000-07:00

You know what's interesting? here's what's interesting

SNOC. Singapore's National Olympic Council states the Selection criteria for the 16th Asian Games in Guangzhou
is the 6th Placing of the 2006 Asian Games in DOHA. Our Celebrated Discus Champion who won multiple Gold medal
at the SEA Games won with a distance of 53.60m in Vientienne Laos. Good Job and wow. He's so well celebrated!

On the other Hand Long and Triple jumper at the SEA Games. Jumped 7.62m and 16.03m Repectively.

The non medal winners were slammed because of the lack of performance at the SEA Games. no medals. Well This is what I think.

The 6th Placing for 2006 Asian Games Long Jump and Triple Jump is 7.69m and 16.25m Respectively. In fact the distances the two jumpers jumped at the SEA Games would have got them 8th Placing at the 2006 Asian Games. A finalist. No medal at the SEA Games, but finalist- best 8 in Asia.

If the Discus champion were to have gone with his winning distance at the SEA games over to the Asian Games? He would have got 9th placing.

But the reality is that the discus champion is celebrated and those who did not get the medal are slammed for not performing.

You know what the deal is? It is that we in Singapore just love to see the medals come in. What if the winning distance for 100m in SEA Games was 10.90s? A schoolboy NOW is able to run that timing and he shall be glorified above anything we've seen in the past decade in Track and field. But what if the 100m Winning timing was 9.99s? And even though one Singaporean, Beat the odds, Broke the National Record, Created History and brought Sprinting to another level by running 10.10s - and he ONLY got 5th Placing. Because it just so happened That the 2nd 3rd and 4th Placing were under 10.10s as well. Then oh no. We have failed have we? We have failed to get a medal at the SEA games?

But have we failed?

is not running 10.10s a timing ANY Sprinter can only dream of hitting. And once hit, will feel such satisfaction. but the satisfaction is deemed a failure because - it was not a medal.

Here's a Joke

What if 1 day the 5th Placing for SEA games was the 3rd placing for the Olympic Games? What would that mean?
Would finishing 5th in the SEA Games be a failure even if that timing/Distance could have won a Bronze medal at the Olympic Games?

Because we only understand colors. We only know Succes in terms of a Bronze, Silver and a Gold. Perhaps thats why we aren't getting anywhere. We chase the Medal Color. Not excellence.

Oh yes in IN fact. The Ruler for all sports are different. It so happens some sports are easier to win it's really the case.

2009-08-21T09:41:00.001-07:00

Check it out

No ones going to read this hahahha (:

Well life's taken a good nice lesson. You know when I though I knew it I means to lead people, I was just posed with the question.. THINK AGAIN.

It's so so so easy to think we are doing a good job yea. when things go our way. People can smile
laugh, jump shout play. But guess what guess what.. all those effort. every single you know. attempt that I tried to do something good? you know you think you want to do something effective and take time to plan and stuff? Yes... with good plans you get good responses and stuff.

yet all I can do it touch the very surfaces of the people's lives I am temporarily put in control of. Just skimming you know? What kind of true impact did I really make to make them treasure what they got? Notttttttt. it's just like running a programme for a programmes sake.

You know I tryyyyy. to relate, to you get involved and stuff. Well I dont know how my mentor does it but he does it. He relates to people 13 14 15 years old. Me? I'm so different? I think I might as well try making friends with my bolster. Its not easy la. Things like that comes with practice and stuff.

WHY... did not i learn. That in order to pour out, I must be filled? Haha. Its so stupid sometimes to even realise how the lives of people are so complex. Each one has has their own story. beautiful story. Yet How can 1 man, bring lead for 1 hr and hope to impact their lives? Cannot. Seriously cannot.

Simply putt. It's just this. Its either you do it with God or you don't even waste your time trying. Man. I feel like such a noob. such a noob in what I used to think I was so great in. haha I know Jesus loves the noobies yeah? Those out there who feel belittled becasue they see what they can do and go like

It's really not working

God made me to be great. Because God is great! You know the min people cannot say that about me I'm literally NOT doing it because of God.

Lets do things for the SAKE of God? Not for anything else? I could do whatever I can in whatever my might is. Nothing I say Nothing can touch the hearts of man/women or Boys and girls like God can.....

So my best gift and leadership place? To understand them, accept them for who they are and pray lor. Pray like never before. because why. What's going to touch their heart aint goingggg to be me. or my words. damn.. its not even my face or my prescence sometimes.

But the divine intervention of a being up there who truely , madly deeply cares and love each and every one of them to bits. ahh then they will get touched. and KNOW somewhere out there, Somehow, God is good, because he has convinced someone to pray for them.

Oh! then it is complete! (: the multi faceted leader who steps up when Its time, yet is so so so capable of understanding people at such a personal level? its attractive..

So you think you are some big shot
sticking you words all around the room
Thinking your dance is always on beat
Thinking your steps are right and sweet?

think Again. lonesome dear
it's not God but them you fear
you fear the rejection they can give
when you fail to deliver a smiley face

what to do, it's a blinking eye
so fast and quick they all say good bye
what did I leave with them you say?

Just words, gifts, lessons or a silent prayer.

Smashing

2009-01-13T06:02:00.002-08:00

Smashing

Simply Smashing because I have written in here yet again after such a long while.

So what has been cooking. Many things, sour and not so sour, Sweet and not so sweet, Bitter and not so bitter. I must Say a few things stood out.

Christmas celebration
Pacific School Games
New Year Celebration

The rest did not really leave a lasting impact for me though.

I really liked Pacific School Games. Because my chains were loosened and i began to bold up. It was one of those trips just like NZ in sec 2. Where I could sense the presence of God with me, or rather more aware of it. Besides staying in a christian retreat center, We had the opportunity to explore the australian bushes and even shoot some arrows in archery. sigh. those days are cherishable.

Again, New Year passed, but it was not at my place this time, there was no shouting countdown in the streets there was no late night strolling but instead there were pillow fights and prayer times! at wynns place. I only slept at like, when the sun rose?? yea. We also went for prata at 3AM kinda cute for a new year.

Then we had the MY HOPE parties JC1 and Sec 2. God was Great needless to say. I was personally very moved by the sec 2 party, where i witness people stepping out of their comforts zones. I also had my mind challenged when Matt chan's dad talked abt how close he walked with God. So close that amazing happens. I was challenged to walk closer to God in 2009. So I am trying some new stuff in my walk (: I want to know what it means to contantly pray, to hear God's voice and to do His will.

The young and immature will always think they can
the more confident they are of knowing God
The more deluded they are

How Can I ever comprehend His mind
The More i walk with Him
The more His becomes so much more than he already is.

Oh I long for that day
When all I can say is,
Öh forgive me, for I am a man of unclean lips
and have already squeezed every ounce of pride out of my sick struck body.

Ha ha.
What else to write?
what's there to say in to the world wide web? ha ha ha

Cheers people to 2009
May we all take this year one step at a time

Smashing

2009-01-13T06:02:00.001-08:00

2008-09-11T07:11:00.000-07:00

Woo!

This dead blog has come to life, with a new post like close to 3 months later (: (:
Well, it's the September 11 and nothing much has changed really. Well speaking of
September 11, it was when the WTC in America got hit yea? Tragedy.

I have been thinking about how much more i seem to enjoy life just because I stopped
thinking so much. Ha sounds contradicting but yea, many things in life contradict, agree?

It's like, i get to appreciate things and life and the people more. Being able to free myself
from unecessary negative thoughts is really - Floating (: Mr Oswald Chambers said this statement

"We presume that we would be ready for battle if confronted with a great crisis, but it is not the crisis that builds something within us— it simply reveals what we are made of already. "

Ha Ha, real chim eh. So when does the building begin or take place? Any other time except a crisis. Which is now. lol! Looking back, I guess i am rather on the right track (:

He who is blind always is first to point out the weakness in others
but those who knows much, never have such thoughts. They have seen the weakness
in others and find out they can only see them because they have the same ones.

So I am cruising along life.
Thank God
Thank God!!

2008-05-11T10:18:00.000-07:00

It's the holidays for me and i sure am enjoying life. The past few days have been slacking slacking slacking. just Dota, meet friends, spend money and well yea spend money and meet friends. Well. I realised i AM low on the spiritual health bar. Somewhere inside I know i need some refil. So yes, I decided today to start doing proper and serious queit times. Instead of lying down there read bible and pray to God until i sleep. (:

Yea the great thing is God loves me (:

today's devotional from My Utmost For His Highest said

"The first thing God does is forcibly remove any insincerity, pride, and vanity from my life. And the Holy Spirit reveals to me that God loved me not because I was lovable, but because it was His nature."

aint that so so so comforting. Just cruising through life here, with everything in every aspect of life going well, I can only say to God, I WANT MORE OF YOU. and continue to build my inner man. (:

So perhaps by THIS WEEK. i will set some holiday spiritual Goals. That I shall complete and review at the end.

Anyways. Alot happened. I Thank God for my Cell. those sec 2 people who claim my blog is dead lol. I never expected them to respond so well. That "growing closer together, each step is a choice" really meant something to some of them. So i saw the effort in those impromtu gatherings. though it never makes more than 5 people, but who cares. it has got to start somewhere! (: Because the importance of christian friends cannot be ANY MORE HIGHLY EMPAHSIZED. Man, the banana theory comes into action here.

The banana that is plucked gets eaten

Life growing up is lol, extremely extremely extremely ( i dunno a word)

but that means we gotta stick together.

2008-05-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

Will i finish the race? Only for today.

I was just looking through some jumps videos on youtube and i started to watch Jonathan
Edwards jump. I was please. Because I knew at that time Jonathan Edwards loves God and Jumps for His glory. So i decided to wiki him. Only to find that he renounce his beliefs in febuary 2007. It hooked to that phrase and i began to search article upon article about this incident. I found out truths.

Pastor Dave was right when he said people either start well or finish well, they hardly do both.
Edwards, said the sinners pray at six, has tears streaming down his eyes when he was a teenager during youth camp. He was literally on fire and hungry for God. He became a full time athletes in the belief that he could influnce the lost world with his success, by pointing it to God- This he did so well. He made headlines when he missed the 1991 world championships because the finals was on a Sunday. in 1993 he won a silver, and 1995, A neww world Record in Triple Jump. In the 2000 olympics, he even had a tin of sardines in his backpack when he went down to the competition arena. This was to remind himself how God fed the 5000. Fives loaves and two fish. He wanted to let himself know that God, multiplied his stregnth. He was not afriad to let the world know.

But he apparently did not finish well.

Many speculated, but I have to agree on this one thing. Athletes are talented, parts of them a visibly bigger and stronger than others, they are poplular and respected. This is the greatest danger of my walk. To take the glory. Because to ttake the glory, is like living for your own self, now, if everyone lived for himself, there is no love- no love, no life.

Success can be= to threat.

Now I am successful,
God oh God, I am afraid of what i may think of you in the future, but help me to trust you
each day at a time.

2008-03-25T07:48:00.000-07:00

wa.

got alot of assignments. a 25 hrs attachment plus reflective journal by 29 april
1000 word essay by 8th april
managment assignment by 11th april.

and i have only done 14 hrs of attachment nothing else.

so ya la. i am behind time and really in trouble :(

so anyway i was thinking
why look for love in the world?
after all? The people in the world NEED love.
Is not God Love?
why do we sometimes look for love in everywhere else except God?
so ya. I am determined to put behind the love of the world
why pursue it when it can never give satisfying love
unlike God's?

okay. I hear myself coming back.

2008-03-24T06:59:00.000-07:00

I used to want to lead,
want to influence
want to impact.
I want to see a bunch of people following me
thinking like me
learning from me.

But spiritual leadership struck me.
Because the spiritual leader is someone who never wants to lead
never wants to be the center of attraction
of having the feeling of control of others
to live in the security of the respect of others.

The spiritual leader is so compelled by his love for God
that he feels almost happy to lay down his life to serve others
even whether or not he gets the respect
he gets the praise
he gets the acknowledgment

When one gives.
does he expect anything back?
Does he do it to deposit tokens to improve the "i like him" meter of
the person he is trying to lead?

or just give for the Lord's sake.

I can only see myself doing most of what i now see as a fallible plan for a leader.
I can only serve to love
to Love like christ did
and when christ loved
the people he loved killed him.

2008-03-05T07:14:00.000-08:00

2008-03-05T06:55:00.000-08:00

wow. how many thousand years never blog.

yeah nothing much. okay my life is supposively exciting. well actually it is but I really have no motivation to pen it all down. like my cell is going good. like really good. apparently. i could not get any better la. ya like on sat. during cell they share then had a cg dinner. end up coming to my house. then play guitar hero. then. wa. order KFC. then thought i thought it was 150 dollars. then the cell very very very shock. then jia jun who ordered 20 pc chicken looked so stricken. lol
but--> my mistake. ha it was actually 50 dollars. so ya. ha then we talk talk talk. apparently i did not do a very essential thing. bring them together. yea whole time talking only to the girls. hmmm. then the boys be boys play guitar hero. lol. k k. okay la good conversations with mainly the girls (: but must bring the cell together in 2 weeks times. ya and joanna and lizzie finally came to my house. lol they seemed like they'd die without it.

one thing was very zai abt my cell. is that when we set to go for cg dinner. my members can tell the others friends ." NO! im going for my CELL DINNER!" lol. not that exclusive thing but the commitment to grow closer to each other. (:

ya. then now have to go attachment. trying to go to SBA. badminton rocks right? lol the association not so la. :X cause they refer me here they and never give me a clear reply. HMPH lol. and i also have to prepare for my coaching session. sembawang primary here i come!!

okay march is a crazy month, wa wa wa wa wa i still want to ask. samantha lenny jing qiong kirtsoon. to easter outreach yesyes. then hopefully they can bring more badinton pple come. then FUN. the GOOD. then (: everyone enjoy. ha aa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. but okay then have to prepare my oral presentation. then coaching. then go attachment. 3 main things. not nice. not nice

and your love's so much it drowns the ocean
your grace so free it captures me
your eyes it says " you are all i wanted"
your voice so sweet it sets me free

You give me faith to move a mountain
You make me rise on eagles wings
I try to run away from your love
I fail cause i miss you terribly

And there you stand right on the water
Your voice is calling out to me
I know i did the impossible
when i stepped out and walked to you

it was a song with a nice melody. i penned it today.
apparently. i forgot how the melody went. anyone who can put in a good melody
pls. pls. ;D

okay people. see i blog. SEE. but now i feel so weird. like i'm talking to myself
so to make me not feel this way. yall can TAG
:D

2008-02-18T13:30:00.000-08:00

Hello. hello. Hello

okay okay okay
days have passed. thurs friday saturday and sunday now's monday.
yeah. it's 9.31pm now in UK in singapore it's 7.32am

It's time to sleep
and for people back home
it's time for school.

Yeap very cute. stefan dickson and cheng is watching a show i think it's deuce bigalo lol.
yeah i didn join cause i wanted to do blogging and blog hopping? and those stuff. wa
alot alot happening eh in singapore.

yeap so far its; been fun. they got this sauna and jaq place in the suite we stayed in. and we just spa, that place? yeah. then had some heart to heart talk with Cheng and Dickson. i love those moments. :) then talked abt the past the present and future. dont conversations all revolve ard these? had several dickson moments. dot dot lol. usual stuff la all can happen in singapore.

okay competition
yeah that day. me and dickson were not afriad of BBs anymore. ;)
and i got a PB. 14.94m was not the best jump i jumped la. but well i am CONTENTED
but not satisfied! thank and Coach la and most imprtly GOD. i can't help it
it's like i KNOW my heel is very pain. but i just carried on with a very clear and cool mind.
not worried at all. WELL ended up very a worse heel pain. i dunno its like when i tiptoe also pain.
so HOW? trust God again lor. i guess i might have injured a deep tissue. so bad that when i ti[toe or activate my calf muscle. the muscle pulls on the heel and causes pain. HMMM.

okay Go Go Go jumps team. we are top 15 jumps team in the wordl according to Cheng. :)
Kang come soon. soon soon soon soon.

2008-02-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

All over again.

Well today
train
did triple jump
then my heel even more pain
sian

Well. just take it off my mind la. in competition. God's going to guide me. i need not fear ;)
the unwavering confidence that God will be there. no matter

well new year. went with Church peeps. to a church peep house which is very near my dad's best frined house. cool ;) then went to the park played ball. laugh here and there. and really had fun. I know that i balances me. then Dear jeremy had to climb trees lol. overall not bad la. o yeah. then had a conversation with the man of the house. uncle Alex. then fouund out he got injury. then talk about physios and etc. then talk talk talk. teh good la. now i know my CG members daddy.
i think that is a good thing yeah people? woo! Then saw alot abt anne's life la. the mugging-ness.
very pro. saw her doing source based history. learning can you prove.... like

prove that lee kuan yew is happy in the pic

lol no la. but Good she studies. then heard she does QT very pro. wa im inspired. ;D yay then hope she reads the devo lots lots. yeah nice house!

today. met chris and justin in their room
after cf i crash their room
then i grabbed them and started to pray
oray oray oray for sports school
there and then, the prayer revived. so long never pray. wa just now pray feel so shiok. felt i as if
there was more power in that prayer compared to me praying alone. then i also prayed for my heel. about 3 to 4 times i pray and stood up and the pain was there.. but i kept on asking. for healing . God's still soveriegn. so what can i say. Im glad i can run. no BIG injuries. EAT THAT SATAN! WOOO!

So yeah. bryan has a new girlfriend. it means the old one is completely mine ;D ;D woohoo.
so yeah clement lost his phone and he aint happy abt it. cheer up!
so yeah Elisha is being elisha and turning into a man lol
so yeah Gloria is out of radar cause i think her life now bumpy with God
So yeah chelsia is even worse. lol wht happened? lol
so yeah gail house got broken into LOL. SERIOUSLY. thank God the burgalar never touch her.
so yeah wynn is there in Auss now with her new bunch of friends going to places like Victoria street lol
so yeah Edwin is being so strong
so yeah Deb is bouncing along and waitinf for results

so yeah this is life. so different. God put US together. now lets see what plans he has ;)

2008-02-04T08:30:00.000-08:00

Hello earthlings.

Okay. i visited blogs today and phooom. i was immersed into a wave
of emotion. The author is very poetic no doubt, and the entries only enforced that.
very beautiful writing. But one thing is amiss.

i see all the pangs of adolescence. The cry for love, the search for love. People around
ans saying love hurts and etc. apparently. our views of love being a fluffy weirdo feeling,
morphed into a erotic kind of thing and after when that segment dies of you just get so
freaking hurt. that we say love hurts.

I do not know how to say this. even people who go to church look into other places for love.
i am NOT pin pointing anyone. (: i myself admit to have done so. so so many times as i grow up.
and we think of looking for love in friends. people. material things.

but friends change, friends reaction to you are can change anytime.

material things are only but a temporary toy in life. filling only a cloud of material in a
gaping heart

we roam about adolescence. swaying to ends. ends like beating the system
they look at the crowd and feel like we are so small. so we work hard. we study
like mad to get on top. to get the recognition. the 'respect' wow. WOW.

but I walked that road.
and that respect in temporal. every single academic cert i got did nothing to me
it never gave me true joy and satisfaction.

So the pangs of adolescnece. some loom them, sway and play in them.
but some rise above it... they learn from their mistakes. and turn from foolish ways.
they look at life like this

that God loves us. no matter who we are.
no matter what we have done.
no matter wht grade
no matter what skills
no matter what weight
no matter what height
no matter how attractive
no matter how intelligent
no matter how we behave.

cause I keep seeing youth grow up
and hitting these things and questions in life.
THEN THEY MISSED THE ABOVE POINT I MADE
and they feel so lost.

so ya. anyway this is my prayer. it's burning in my heart.
empower the youths. change their mindset when they are young.
but well. life aint about changing people (:
My life goal is to change myself.
to be who God called me to be

why not you try?
talk to God and ask HIM for love
woohoo you are gunna love it!

2008-01-30T01:28:00.001-08:00

Guowei: Yes yes. so i actually am learning new stuff. im so happy (:

Caiyi: HMMMM!! ha so you come everyday? hahahahahahahahha

Okay im bored. I think it was yesterday. Dr Seet came in and said.

AUT COURSE REALLY IS SLACK. its true la. and he said we should maximizing.

using the time to build ourselves. we are expected to like, train twice a day. but apparently

i only train once. so yea it's true, i find myself becoming a great bum. i wake up on average 8 plus. and i hardly saw the sun rise. See la. but well in this course when im hardly challenged, i thought i'd be good to put in a lil bit more into God's work. (: yeah! you know after ignite i got this idea to do something for valentines. apparently no one is with me, but i'll do it anyway. ha. cause my work for God is never determined by results right? so it does not matter if salvation happens in sports school or not. I AM CONCERNED. but i shall leave it to God. i just do the giving, the loving and the encouraging. as much as i can.

well. i see most of my peers really busy. i guess it is the life i chose.

im praying for big stuff the happen. cause since i got time, I dont have to mug.

WHY CANT I GO PRAYER MEETING!

but at least can go to church.

yay for a unique time

when i think about church friends

i think about family.

i feel in a secure enviroment.

now I am going to make those who do not feel the same

FEEL THE SAME!

2008-01-28T07:44:00.000-08:00

Hey people.

you know something?
God answer every single prayer i prayed.
honestly. from prayers like please save Edwin's dad to
i want to feel accepted in class.

so everything is cool. Cause God answered most of them. execpt
the save my friends prayer. lol. but since everything's so fine
i tend to put God aside. i admit. hurr. i reduce him to my last moments of the day.
He's with me, i talk to Him throughout the day. I sing to Him . but i don't have
i solid real time of hearing and listening to Him. hai.

So the dangers of having life in control. is that i tend to TAKE CONTROL. when
God's supposed to be in control.

On a lighter note. i see this stage of life as crucial. growing up is when a person make it or break it. i see how good turn bad and bad turn good. I wanna ask God to turn those in my cell to be Good, disciples. to use me as an influence. if possible. use me to influce the sec1 in my level. that they will not fall into this stupid cycle in sports school where you screw up

and the teachers in their concern
make you feel more screwed up
and the screwed up pity themselves
and it goes on and on.

WELL. Growing up. the moulding place!

anyway. i learnt abt musces today. come people. test me. your butt is called your gluteous maximus. lol as if alot of people do not already know. ha!

wel thats it for today, abit the solemn. but im okay!

2008-01-25T02:04:00.000-08:00

Guowei: Im am so so so touched to hear that (:
Joanna: why didnt you post your name name as anna-pong? lol
caiyi: that was one laggy response. ha.

Okay. It has been many many many days. but i guess i am quite busy.
so classes are more routined now. learning about muscles now and contraction.
i looked into something called

sliding filament theory.

i will not explain it here but lol. to make up not blogging for ages. i'll bore yall.
the brain sends snervous signals to nerves. the the tip of the nerve, the axon terminal
there will be this thing called ACh. acetylcholine which causes the membrane of the axon muscle cell to be more permeable. thus Na+ ions flow in the K+ ions flows out. however there will be an imbalance of ion flow thus creating a signal for the sarcoplasmic reticuluum to release calcium
into the vessels called transverse tubules which goes to the terminal (something) and then hmmm, ya the calcium wil bind with troponin and casue the tropomyosin to turn and the the cross bridges of the myosin will attach itself to the actin. ADP will move the actin towards the M line and ATP will release it.

This is muscle contraction and about 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 pulses of nerves signals happen as i trained earlier. wow now that's something to distract my mind during intense competition eh?

K. Another thing. as some may know i cant go prayer every friday. so its something so so so irritating. and then weekends i just wanna spend al the time i can with my church friends but i got my family. so yeah. i guess school time is when I tend to distant. NEVERTHELESS. MUAHAHHAAHAH I shall go for every dinner they go and every house the crash. woo right bryan? lol okay today i just missed james birthday celebration! well bryan was kind. he ask me! yay! i was like obviously i wanna go but i got lecture. UHHHHHHHHUHHHHH PON AHHH. lol.

but another good thing is now is the time to build relationships with school pple again. yep bunch of sec 1 are living beside me. they come and pester me. saying EH MATTHEW LET ME USE COMPUTER LA. or they come and touched every single thing in the room or ask every single question ever. lol. very cute la. but JESUS SAID. LET THESE CHILDREN COME TO ME. unless we become like one of these children we shall not enter the kingdom of heaven. ;O so how? haha play with them lor. now.. not bad, sharing God's word well and living out a good testimony. thank God la. can also feel the distance between my good ol friends closing up. somewhere during the holidays it kinda died. but i guess good friendships last la. i also appreciated their company. calving cheng Dickson, stefan. yusof. yeah those pple who got me hooked to DotA. apparently i love the game. haha. one fun bunch of people.

anyway this happened today. i thought it is worthy of mentioning. one of my friends in track was injured, then he used to come to church etc. etc. but somewhere in between something happened in life that cause some stuff to etc you know. people do fall. then the injury was really bad and i was praying that it will get better cause competition coming soon mah. then today the person was super sad. seemingly la. so i prayed that yeah no matter wheere my friend goes to look for help, physio, etc etc only GOD can do real and miraculous healings. so i asked God to help my friend ask HIM for healing. then guess what? MY FRIEND ASKED ME TO PRAY! ITS LIKE A PRAYER ANSWERED. then i have good confidence my friend will recover well lor. (: so its in God's hands!

yep so. another sad thing. lol so sad eh my life. joking la. i love life. saturday? i cant go TM
yeah so missed a chance to be around church friends. hmm God's plan God's plan. yeap. but what hurts most is not being able to catch up with my peers? in church. their results though i arady know most. and of course getting to know my dear sec 2s. yeah i have a prayer.

and that prayer is that they will achieve their goals they set and READ THE DEVOTIONAL.
CAUSE IT'S GOOD FOR THEM! wa. see la i feeling like smsing them to read lol. k maybe that what i;ll do.

bye!

2008-01-09T07:15:00.000-08:00

Hello. THOSE TWO PICTURES

ARE WHY I LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE

TO SMILE yay. you can see the black guy. ya. he has a UGLY face la. LOL JOKING

yes i shall update.
so much to say.

okay i'll start off by school.
class is weird you know its like the same people so ya whats new.
but lessons? so so la. had exercise principles, basically learnt bio.
then professional studies and intorduction to coaching practice.
so it's like PE.

so my excercise principle lecturer is a PhD. so when he talks we quite blur.
haha. but well, he's quite funny. always give a teethles smile haha.

Life is different. for that first time in two years, i do not hang out with the jumpers.
so yea its a different feeling. but well spent alot of time with Kanger. nice (: had nice moments
in the room, on the bed. hot and dodgy stuff. hahahahah! but yeah besides that, my school has got a christian fellowship running again. apparently GOD is cute. Cause the people like all very young then they like wanna lead all. so good la. try try ma! WOO God can use anybody!
yep. So spent time with CHRIS HUANG and JUSTIN LIM. like the pple i hung out with in sec 2.
its like turning back time when we prayed that night together. OH! how beautiful God plans things. haha

YEAH man. restringed my guitar. actually today i went to SUN PLAZA> llike very random.
bought strings and went back home. kang came along. then restirng my elec and acou. then lugged it to school. now i can call people to my room to worship time and fellowship. the best part? it will not disturb people! cause the room all christian! woo.

yes. so CHURCH PEEPS> update your blogs too
CAUSE DURING SCHOOL I WIL NOT SEE YALL SO OFTEN.
SADDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

byebye!

2008-01-04T07:29:00.000-08:00

Whats wrong with you people?
all you gotta do is click on shout.
and go. "balhblah lallala" on the board!
it'll make Matt really happy!!!! (:

Anyway. orientation is boring. duh.
well everything's coolio. manz. wooz.
well nth much to say.

oh yes, okay i shall talk abt sat.
yes tml im going to go to train
then go eat lunch with welome pple
then go church
then see my dear sec 2s
then go leaders sometihng
then go makan with then i think
then go home.

woo. nice.
well. everyone. start appreciaing your OG. you
will not want to know what i did for my orientation.

2008-01-03T04:56:00.000-08:00

what is it?

The feeling of emptiness?
is it growing up
or just excessive thinking?

well! I think it's both haha. so it's fine. woo!
okay. I got to admit. The year is going to be very different.
like i just got a shock yesterday cause i discovered im not rooming
with cheng anymore or the jumpers. then i dunno man. initially
i felt very very messed up. like somehow in between those two years
alot alot alot has happened then never thought that our rooms are now
so far away. not even same floor.

But i guess this is change la. So anyway will still see him in training but
will just miss him at night la. lol yeah. but I also sensed a new direction from God.
for two years i've been with cheng and last year with dickson. i dunno. I tried my best
to input as much as i can yep being the friend in need. well now perhaps my 'time' with them
is kinda up. ya. ended up in lvl 2 with cal kang.

which is what i wanted. but somehow im quite torn la between both. calvins haha.
then my room there ulu ulu. but i guess God intents a quiet place. a resting and a refuge.
i know His ways are higher than mine for the heavens are higher than the earth. So
yes brute force. I shall let go. (:

yeah just wanna talk abt the new year. i thought the party thing was really awesome.
like how I really bonded with church people again. like woo! played jungle speed. couting down loudly at totally wrong times with bryan and mugen. and blind mice and etcetc. yeah it's like new doors open up. and I sense God calling for more involvement in church than in school. Now that I am in charge of a bunch of sec2. Time is surely set aside for them (: those lil bunch.
Oh yes. well we kind of merger the countdown with joash.then ya alot of mix and match of people. well. good la . many many pple. the time was just pure teenage fun fun la. but had several good convo with mugen. and elisha. anyway WYNN came back! like past midnight then she come. woo. touching okay that she came back its like she wants to see us. cause why?TML SHE"S LEAVING THEN LIKE WHAT ON EARTH I GOT ORIENTATION AND I CANT PON>
so it's true. thee last time in a long time im gunna see wynn. i saw her in her bro's car, driving off. like some fairy tale thing. duhh. okay im not going to think soo much.

yea then bryan elisha guowei timothy gabriel james slept in my room. like lol. really they were all over the floor. then james was like king. at first one person on my bed. haha but yay guowei moved up. yepyep. mugen act hero he go and slp downstairs. haha.

but the surprise was when i woke up right.
the joash pple like popped up in my room. i was really quite shocked.
like i need to rub my eyes a few times. really. haha but okay la
come then come. then can see my house. anyway i love playing host
so why not. then joash and chris like jump here jump there. lol then pillow fight happened.
lol.ya very cute la. but o well 18 19 year olds. young at heart. so alot alot happened la
on that day i still hero heroo go and watch avp. lol then pong came down to my house. O YA AND I ALSO HAD A WELCOME MEETING TOO. lol in my house. so like for 30 hours plus my house played host. woo. so fun. yeah. the time ended when me bryan james gabriel pong ivan ate at kfc after avp. ya. we were together since last year. woo. ahah.

SUPER FUN LA THAT NEW YEAR. HAHAHAHAHA. so so so june hols also k?

ya just some reflections.
to somepeople i talked to that day.
i say that God is very proud of ya.
(:

happy new year people.
smilesmilesmile!

2007-12-25T06:09:00.000-08:00

Hey.
went to bryan's house yesterday.
i dont care
i am going to spam his house. with church pple,
cause its just good fun. WOO

ya i slept late. then when i came home today
i slept at 3 i think then woke at 9am. check this out

Maid: Matthew wake up
MAtt: What time now!!
Maid: Dinner.
Matt ..... huh. what happened to training?

LOL. I know its not funny. but ya. i guess its still christmas
well Vinna coped MY DRAMA LINE> haha so im going to say

Well God it's christmas. Ya i know you ar a king. but you are such
a good looking and good friend that i wanna say you rock. and that
your sacrificial life is damn damn damn. veryvery. good. yep.

tml got trng at bishan. i got a feeling we are just going to slack like
rocks. lol. but after meeting church sec4 again. ya i am seriously gouing to
spam why? when school start.everoyne gets busy. so why not?

so sec 4 form my cell
12 noon at j8.
if your late
you're not straight

2007-12-24T05:56:00.001-08:00

HOHOHO merry christmas.

today watched redline.
hot girls. hotter cars. yep its true.. it's true.
binz and cal kang you people are the best. a kang. i admit here
although you dont really read my blog but thought
you are one shallow guy and i think so so deeply. you still are able to
be such a great friend. you are such an idiot. that this christmas i want to pray
that God will make you run faster. but if you ever lose your passion for Him, may he
screw your leg upside down. haha

Calvin : I Thank God that i know. I believe God sent you to me. you know? down the road.'
when we have wives and kids you can come over and we can chat and our kids and chat."

Matt: .silent.

You know thats the sweetest thing he said. but i can't reply for i do not know what's ahead.
I have this prompting from GOD for something else. i'll blog abt this later. but again. i do not know if i'll be married. I dont know if i'd live that long. I may be a missionary to anoter country
Something may happen between us. satan Lures any one of us away due to the price and temptation of being in the spotlight. anything. but for today. for tomorrow. on christmas. Kang. you rock!

Binz. again. words cannot express what i can tell you. i was so screwed. i was living this way with this thinking and this lifestyel until you came along, and spoke God's word to me. cutting off my edges i am now free. i am better. you edited me so much i can hardly recognise matt in 2006. Binz i know you arnt gay and you are an angel. but Ya I'll call you my angel you brute idiot.

So this is what's up for me.
being in sportsschool led me to know people in sportsschool.
so i made friends. over 3 years here. I heard people cry on my shoulder I have cried on others
so many people came in and out of my life. its secondary school. i Made MY SCHOOL THE MISSION FIELD> im proud of what God did. i see salvations in sports school. With my tongue God used it to speak life. with my hands to give massages to people in need. I did all i can to serve people. even mhy roommte calvincheng. i wannna help him so so so much . my time as roommate with him is up. n3xt year no more roommtate. i just hope it;s enought. that God input enough in him. that the seed is well planted. Lord people. Calvin needs you and he needs you in his Life.

but one thing was missing. Fellowship with tyhe body of christ. yes i fellowship. with school christians. last time it was rocking. the was gospel concerts. sportsschool was going to FOP and praying and jumping. Wednesdays used to see 20 plus 30 people come. I was a noob in leading but god used me. so i thought in 2005 and 06 that no need to spend time with church friends.
now look. towards to end of the year. only 3 to 5 people were coming. i was tired. i was discouraged. God's plan? i dunno. christians whop rocked who prayed for revival in sportsschool fall away. fall so far but never far away form grace. they study they do otehr things have other friends and get carried away wih the cares of the world. God showed me. i was alone. and i needed something strong

so only this hols . only recently i realised when Dave spoke. when pastor william spoke.
that our school friends are friend only temporarily. when our lvies part when we change scdhools when we sports when we change class when we have diff interest. when we dont stay on the same floor. I realised the only contant grp of friend in my life is church youth. people liek yimin jeremy bryan clement amiel alden those people i've invested so little percent of my time to that friendship is superficial. what can i say. Now that i know this. I;m going to work at it. no matter how tired oruncomfortable or uneasy i am. i dont care. they are my family and i'm going to be their good friends like it or not. I've missed out enough.

So God this holidays was fruitful ya?
can;t help thinking abt how i spent time with the youth in church.
more Lord. more Lord. (:(:(:
Happy and free
in your presence i;m free.
praise tou freakingly Good and
mighty and powerful
and awesome
and madly crazily
rockingly
name!

jesus!

2007-12-19T05:52:00.000-08:00

Yo.

K. the chalet was alright la. Watched transformers. i thought it was COOL. in terms of the grahpics and how the bot changes etc. the girl also shiok. okay abit la. but it had a distorted theme. so the flow was not complete. Then i improved my bridge skills. then right. i started to win. like. alot of times. actually is just 4 but i was out of he 5 games i played that day. then again. Bridge has a 50 50 percent chance of winning. right? so can go challenge Jeremy.

o ya by the way. I taught the people how to play a game called King's cup. Its a sportsschool people game. ha. yeah and it did not turn out too well coz jeremy kinda had some dinner left on the wall. haha. You know people all say "ya thats the toilet" so jeremy ran there and. ya. but it turned out to be a room. 0_0. Yep. but i think to most sway is Mel. who kind of drank abit. well only because many have got into a habit of choosing her to drink. ha. so one lesson. no kings cup after dinner. so sad. but could stay. had to wake up 5.30 the next day, which was today. to go training. But i thought it was cool. cause really. i loving being there when the sun rises. =)

Yes christmas outreach. what i want for christmas.
1. people, tag! (:
2. jing qiong to come down. (:
3. for my new year resolution to work out nxt year.

=)
so people. after you read you must?

2007-12-17T06:38:00.000-08:00

Okay. Okay.

busybusy.

past two days hung out with 2bmc. it was fun la. see all the brutal things that happen.

ya spend th past two days really practising for the carolling. ya kind of looking forward "inside"

ha but im too tired on the outside. I will not forget how the songs and the gesture brought literally life to the people. like wah. you know one lady who had cancer? she we supposed to but terminal and she did not smile for 1 month. then only when the carols touched her. wa. she was really happy and she even teared. =) nice. so this year can bear this in mind.

Ya went to church's S21 thingy. it's my first time. im abit the lost. however thanks to some friends i'm good. Ha. its really cheap! like 5 dollars. 8 coupons. i bought like gingerbreadman.

briyani( ithink). icecream thanks to bella but she got the tic free also. HA. er free drinks! and err

yes SIEWMAI. LIKE SIEWMAI. okay pple. try saying siewmai 3 times really fast. if you can

my rabbit is your good friend =). ya then watched daniel and yimin play. nice nice. but the sound was imbalanced UNLESS ITS DANIELS SINGING LOL. but the mike vol was unclear and all. overpowered by two guit. somemore one is taylor guit. NICE. ha. ya afterthat watched some magic show. super funny cause its for little kids then the jc2 people go and anyhow make fun.

haha. trying to participate. ya found out who was edrics dad. LOL. his dad looks rather like him.

yep yep yep yep yep. and then play some fishing game. The fishing games rocks. really. coz i still have no visual idea how the string stick to the fish. i know its magnetic pull. i felt it. but JUST NO MAGNET IN SIGHT!!. ya so just won soome the jason the hockey killer guy mask. haha.

so ya. see i blog abt church. YAY. i hope church pple read.

okay tml i going chalet. tired but YAY. but again training. BOO. but still

i got God = YAY.

2007-12-06T19:06:00.000-08:00

nice. My Links are up. now people who come are more connected. Then they will come back again so they can go to the other blogs. LOL. i think it might work =/ Thanks!

Yes IM GOING FOR CAMP NOW..... like NOW ha

2007-12-06T01:11:00.000-08:00

Ha Ha.

Okay. so we can't train at St Nicks. LOL.

Mr Rajan: eh so how's the match?
Rafie( i think): err. abit ah

lol lol Lol lOL.

so wednesday training was more funnier than usual. it started when we were all so tired and tried asking Ms Chan for discount. i was so sad that 3x100 became 3x150. and i was like coach confirm drink drink all then anyhow write down the programme! Dickson was like ya ya together with a few puffs.

Then when Ms Chan asked why your swissknife was with our knees bend. then we say for style and all that. someone even said its harder. LOL. And taufiq was like maybe 3x50 striding which was like simply asking for a drive by. But that was not the best part... It was..

when Dickson asking if he could train by himself. He ended up getting invited to St Nicks to train. INWHICH, the whole group suddenly invited themselves to go there and train. LOL. we can like help them train and all. some plyometrics. HAHA. ya then Taufiq HAD to talk so much end up he does not even know how to go St Nick. Started telling everyone he'll send a cab to pick everyone and go there. Then Dickson was like.." No need la. I'll be staying overnight there" like the most calmest thing he said. LOL. At like 5am he'll be wide eyed at the entrance waiting. LOL. yeah then we talked about Taufiqs Visa card beign made out of Drawing block with inproportionnate size which did not allow it to scan properly. haha.

you know we spent so much time talking and discussing abt tml. go cut hair. wear tight shirt, or just skins (LOL DICKSON) to there. but in the end? in the end? in the end? Go read the first line. hahaha.

BYE
IM OFF FOR CHURCH CAMP. WOO HOO LOO JUU :D

2007-12-04T02:58:00.000-08:00

Had christmas drama practice today!
well. everyone was stoney. lol like the song you know?
that sounds like

stoney... help me all the time
stoney.. be my friend tonight

lol okay i made up the lyrics. Yeah. well it's acting again. something i have not done in awhile.
i tell you man. the drama is pro ded. it's really good!! and it WILL answer questions that people have abt christmas etc. So if you are interested! can tag? yeah? i thought clem could act well. haha nice. i was kind of scared la in a way when he was showing emotion. so yea. Pple must come kkkkk!

watched heroes episode 10 today. nice man. it's mainly one of those episode where you just hate syler more. you know his sneakiness and craftiness and how he deceives people? like one guy that i wanna whack. lol the other one is the BOB. lol he just does not look nice. he also tricky.

yep. count down! OVER THE TOP woo!!

(;(:(:

the first thing im going to do
is spread my wings and fly.

by
33 miles

NICE BAND!!

2007-12-03T06:23:00.000-08:00

okay. in this post i will make sure it dont write in foreign language.

ya man. shiok ah the prom. hot stuff. Ha. i thought it was the most successful thing.
yep. see la. God is shiok. Stef and my girlfriend leaving for the sea tml. lol miss them man.. and hope they can go bring back some thai baht( you know like ??? when you say baht fast)

So ya. life is like needing camp right now. cause sian-ness is coming. Ya i hope thru camp i can like. you know. woooooo! and waaaa! and yeeessssss! . yep.

today. eugene came over. and i learnt that the chee ko pei at J8 was actually called the bishan gay. like beeshaan gaaay. LOL. its the funniest thing ever. funny la pls. anyway eugene goh was like trying to learn violin. like he should be my alarm clock. ha nah.

anywayyyy.
this hols was well spent. sooo. ya

2007-11-27T07:30:00.000-08:00

Policy.

It's simple.
You walk in life.
You bump around.
You face your fears
You cry.

If you are looking for good in others
You'll find it
you'll be a hero.

But a hero has flaws
That when he goes on his mission to save others
He, in turn, will be tested and trialed. That is when
no weapon a hero has will keep him standing

what will keep the hero standing
when all that he worked for fell apart overnight

What will keep the hero standing
When those he loved, turned away.

What will keep the hero standing
When he has forgottened his way.

Only Love.
A love not from the hero.
But from above.

Make us all heroes today.

2007-11-26T04:19:00.000-08:00

Hey.

Okay this week is going to be as bsy as the last. Last week had p6 camp staff day etc. huge applause to those who helped out. Esp Hin ann and her work on staff day. and Mrs Lu and the rest. all very nice. NICE.

This week is filled with drama practice in church. Some YOG thing again and PROM! Yea yea. Hope the event is going to go well. Well i prayed that people will go and start giving money to pay the bills and guess what.

They did! so cool

ya people who i did not know were going started saying they'd go and pass me money. wa so touched. All the more better. have a meaningful prom ya. There will be performances. a video. a contest. etc. and the very anticipated dance floor. song dedications too. Well the aim to have the sec four have time of 'farewell' so to speak. and to look back on the good ol days ya?

So yes to all the pple who said yes to come! thats great. come looking smart. come looking happy. =) i know im happy to see you.

So for the busy week. i have a bible verse to memorise
"jesus replied. 'if anyone loves me he wil obey my teachings. my father will love him. and we will come to Him and make our home with Him. " john 14.23

so yeah. can go through.
been hearing alot of relationship problems lately. Hope that all goes well. and that
you will have strength when you need it!

see ya people!!

2007-11-16T02:39:00.000-08:00

The signs of ageing

Is this.
when you have enough things to think about until you can turn silent and feel down
When you can count the number of people whom you miss
When you have said bye so many times until it's normal

The signs of maturing

Letting go of the past
and having some scars
But form new layers of hope
so thick
that the scars and hurt dont come up!

haha. PAY PROM MONEY TO ME PLS

2007-11-12T05:31:00.000-08:00

The Break of Breaking Free

Hey. Guess what. O's is like so almost over accept for those bio people.
I just feel like that tower of O's is down for my peers. I can also feel it coming down

after all thought i did not experience it, seeing them going through it is also quite tensing for me.

The past weeks have been a mixture of disappointments and joy. Well, school mates may all know abt the prom and all the mishap etc. Well I really learnt lots of things la. Then again, at least i know i tried.

I fought the good fight, i finished the race, i kept the faith.

Well That's all that counts. Well throughout i felt like God was speaking to me through that experience. Just that day when I was like so helpless to stop the people from cancelling the prom. Well i sat down and started telling God how unfair and how disapointed and wronged i felt. I just knew that I put in so much of time and effort and the last thing i wanted was people to just change it at the las minute because they did not feel like it. But i Guess that's life. and again i can't make everyone happy. So i'm okay that it happened la. But ya as i was telling God blah lah.

just felt Him telling me his story.

He too is working, everyone second, every minute. Making ways and paths for me. Giving me breath and making the earth spin. Maintaining the carbon and water cycle. Making sure asteroids capable of shattering the earth just shun us. He maintains my relationships. Gives me loving parents. and trust worthy friends. And sometimes I complain. Just like how i planned the programme out and people just complain abt it. The hurt i felt inside was really enormous.

But at the moment God asked me to feel HIS hurt.

And i realised tht each time i bring an unapprecitaive attitude to life. It's like saying God's not doing enough. It does not piss God off. But it saddens Him. I felt convicted at that moment to praise Him. Knowing that it's the only thing i can do to really bring a smile to His face.To understand this life is not mine, and it's given. I was created, purposed to lift God's name high.

So i was tempted to hold grudges. after all, didn't I have the right to be angry at the people whom i wanted to help but instead just showed unappreciation? Well Some say yes, Some say YESYES! but I thought NONO

Cause God did not hold anything agaisnt me although HE had the right to. why?

Cause he created me and he's God? So ya Hes has the right like it or not. But he did not. so

what makes me think i could?

There was a story told.

There was a man who owed a large some of money to the king. Like many many zero's kind of large. But he was in such a fix, he just knelt and begged the king to let him go, Because the penalty is death. The gracious king did what was according to his character, and let him go. SO this man was one lucky man- He deserved the punishmeny, but he did not receive it

Then as he was livng his life, he remembered someone who owed him some money. Now that money his loan this man was little. like ALOT lesser. but he threatened and pressed charges against this man who owed him money. Though he witness begging ang pleading, he was not willing to let him go.

The King, hearing abt this. was furious! He immediately had the ungrateful man to be executed.

'nuff said!

So this story guides me. along with many other true stories recorded in a book we humans call

the bible.

Went To a Party. Party was empty

2007-11-04T06:04:00.000-08:00

Went To a Party. Party was empty.

Hey. Today was different. I went to play cage soccer with the soccer boys. and the jumpers. People like Naresh, Ammirul, Khai, Abel. Well. Quite simply is the people whom i will not be seeing so often next year. So why not play?

Anyway i thought it was loads of fun.. I might go back if they do organise again! Then we went over to KFC and had free flow of drinks and everyone had a buddy meal. all except Yusof. who was asking in disbelief. " What you ordering?" Then the boys at the queue will say, " buddy meal." Haha. Don't worry Yusof. i'll gladly be your buddy. (:

But i buddy mealed with Hakeem. And then we sat and talked about Army and training and Harry atikines. lol. Then we talked about japanese girls and finally ended with Asian grand prix in Jordan. yep. It was really nice to talk to him la.

The days are more or less just passing by... Waiting for the new year to begin. But before that. i will have PROM (yay) staff day, chinese singing COMP, freshmen camp, and TM412 CAMP WOO. oh im so excited for that one! haha. This evangelist Carl butler's coming. And heard he's really good. Hope really to get as much as i can from him. Living such a bold life completely submitted to the Lord's calling and direction.

By the way, I finised one of two prom video's. Yeah thanks goes to all those who let me film them or even said stuff. I really hope you guys ( my badge of student) will like it. haha i had quite a experience doing it too. Now i know what it feels like. Running and catching and being quick in improvision. Yeah just starte the second. which is easier. Hope to get it done soon.

Okay. if any sec four person in sports school is reading this. SPREAD THIS. prom is on 15 THIS MONTH at serangoon gardens club (next to CHOMP CHOMP) dress code is like awards night. comeby SIX PM. and it will end by ELEVEN PM. This is for ALL SEC FOURS. so don't shy. PLEASE COME it's our day (: the cost will be between 40 to 50 have not decided yet. there is a buffet dinner included. Well rest assured every cent you pay goes to the renting of place, food, deco and etc. =) yep. more news soon. till then.

15 NOVEMBER 6 PM.

yep. then the o's people are like finishing their exams. i really got to say that was quick. but probably for them it's the two longest weeks of their lives. haha . hopefully when it's al over can spend time with them. before... 0_0 haha

well lots more to say. but i'm tired.

Even the most righteous among us are like filthy rags to you
I thank you so much that your salvation covers all of that
I dont have to work a single sweat
do a single deed
give a single cent to charity
for you to tell me now

"You are righteous, clean and no longer a lost sinner."

I can only stand in amazement

and say

"let me give my life to honor you. thought it add nothing to my salvation.
it only seems right, my saviour."

"And when all fades away, no amt of material stuff can i take to the grave"

AMEN!

2007-10-21T02:23:00.000-07:00

Anthem Of the Already.

To those that felt the cut of regret
The stench of missing jigsaws
The poison of old and faded pictures

all that came from a broken ended relationship.

You take your broken, bleeding heart and let it in the sun to dry.
If it's still raining, fret not
For it stops when you want it to.

You do all you need to do

Say all you need to say

Cry all you need to cry

And then tap on your stronger self and get up and freaking walk away from the past
don't let it sting you, stratch you, hurt you spoil you humiliate you.

Yes... For when there's a room in your empty heart. Then and there you start to wonder whether any divine being is out there watching all this.

and i'm telling you. There is absolutely one does and who loves you to bits.

For the first time

2007-10-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

For the First time

"Naked a man comes from his mother's womb
and as he comes, so he departs. He takes nothing from his labor..."

Ecc 5:15

A man walks over to the oasis in the distance. As he Reached the oasis, he was captivated by all it brought him. To his eyes, it was cheese to a mice. He took out the map he had and read the instructions once again.

"You will pass by the oasis. just drink up and get on your way, The destination is yet to be."

He shrugged and had his eyes bouncing off the map and the beautiful sight all around him. He looked to is left and to his right. Nothing as pleasant was in the distance. So he settled down. Then and there, he forgottened abt the map and the oasis became his home. Little did he know that somewhere not too far away, was someplace more magnificent. more sparkling than the oasis.

Time passed. As he drew near to his dying breath. He saw tht he was all alone and the once beautiful oasis was now a used up disposable land. He then remembered the Map and the intructions given. He looked once again at the ancient map and Located where he should have been. AS he looked carefully into the distance, he saw a light that blew away all his frustrations, loneliness and fear. It dawned on him then, how he carelessly made this temporal place his home. As he tried to make his way there. He found he was short of breath. Just like the fading and crumbling oasis, he too was affected by the spell, and was not able to carry on the journey...

As he was nearing his death

I hope you pull through the worst day of your life

2007-10-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

The title says it all.

I'm just so lost for words for today. Just do not know how bad can today be. Lets start here. I had this Youth olympic games thing in the morn. Had to jump in the mid day sun. i missed lunch and well i thought asll was well. but when i hit 3.30 pm the day kinda went very bad

First i got from coach. 100 push-ups cause i went to jump without his permission. and i did not cover the pit. so the pit was flooded. So that was not too bad. coach was angry but he seemed to get over it. Then came my butt pain. what do you get after straining so hard? So again. i had to endure coaches anger. I shall not blame him. Cause i know it's what i did wrong. So i apologised.

But if i knew, i would not have jumped!

Then already downcasted. i thought the day could not get any worse. For injury+scolding from coach is not too good a combi., Then after the wondrous dinner with akang, Binz and Ben > 2BMC.(YOU GUYS ROCK) i went home knowing somethings wrong with cheng. And found out that he and the rest of the jumpers had to clear the water that flooded the open pit for me. I really seriously, honestly absolutely did not know i had to do it. if not i'd have helped. but again what to do. they already did it. All i can do is apologise.

But if i knew, i would have stayed to help!

So just when you have your best friends angry at you, your coach angry at you, injured and not able to train and build up for next year etc. you really do not want any more stuff. but i knew God had more installed.

when i got home. My mom sensed i was cold. so me and my mom aren't exactly on best terms. so she started scolding me for being so weird and reading the bible ( i had to do it for peace) and not talking to her(coz she hardly listens) and so accused yet again. I knew then again God wants me to honior my parents. so i apologised to my mom and told her my bad day. which again she talked most of the time. so she did not listen. o well.

yeah. but at least the end of the day is near.

if i live for today
then today is over
Just thank God and not hold a grudge
leave the rest to God

Forgive all those that have cause me hurt today
and hope they would forgive me

I pray for a tomorrow
that will be blessed
but i'm hanging on proverbs 15.1

"a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger"

i shall take all the harsh words. but i will always give all the gentle answers.
thank you JESUS for the strenght today

Counting the counters

2007-10-04T07:48:00.000-07:00

I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.

Romans 1:16

Hello!

here's a lesson from an SBS bus.

You wait impatiently or patiently at the bus stop. You have a number in mind. ranging from 1 to 999. There people waiting with you. Will they enter the same bus? Will they encounter the same journey?

The Destination is far. it's from one terminal to the other.

"Finally! it's here! " you say... you board the bus. You sped of hastily to find your favourite spot, settled down, felt comfortable and took out you Mp3 player. On and on the bus ride went. You frequently glance around to get a lonely glance at the people on the same bus as you. As the

wheels rumble, the people fumble.

Some get up, some get out

To your delight or dislike, someone popped in next to you. the person hardly showed any sign of acknowledging you, and so you were just put off he became a hindrance to your comfort.

The scenery whizzes by

the time winds by

Your heart runs dry

your mind grips and die...

and there you are! you awaken to find yourself in a totally different company. The smug face next to you was gone and only a few people were left on the bus. Slowly but with great relief, you made your way past the pale red seats, holding on to the poles for support as

you got off the bus...

We sometime s don't realise

but we live like we are on the SBS bus.

We live life.

ever seeing

never knowing

the people that enter in

We live life

ever travelling

never remembering

the places that we've in

We live life

ever being

never loving

doing the most important thing

We live life

knowing people walk in and out of our lives

and they need help

they need help

but we plug ourselves out from the world

and get off the life with the few people you did not know...

gone like the waters.

2007-10-03T07:12:00.000-07:00

I blogged. but it was not posted up. oh well. here another one!

last Sunday. i went over to Ben's place to stay. his house is entertaining. in fact i did try out all the stuff there. well just his 6 guitars. lol! i recorded a song. which like was one that Ben liked. yay! well i like it too. okay here's the lyrics

saw thousands upon thousands
smelt the spurt of blood
will i go
will i go

when the odds are stacked agaisnt me
my life is at stake
will i die
will die

cause you took the cross
for my sin
so i could
live within
your blood gushed out
from your side
the only reason why i stand by your side
and fight

The cross before me the world behind me
i'll run for you
i'll stand for you
The battle before me my comfort behind me
i'll fight for you
i'll fight for you

Yeah! thats it. well the story behind comes with consecutive dreams of war and persecution. i will not pretend i'm oblivious, but it's quite obvious many parts of the world is at war now. that very soon. as Jesus said. it's our turn to step up to fight the war. spiritual warfare or a physical one. I'm not too sure. Well one night, the dream was so vivid. that i actually wrote the song in just like that!

So Thanks Ben. your input was like, so handy and complimenting :)

Oh yes. Today, dear Kang and Yusof are off. for thai open. SO... its going to be one less friend here. :( but nevertheless. still have the autistic guy. haha! hope he studies well. I think he has the discipline. but if your ask me, he'll study and then play winning eleven. LOL.

Very briefly. Today i had the chance to experience chem and physics class with O's lvls students. it was ALMOST an experience, just that i was behind a transparent window pane. Oh. the mock tests. the revision. oh the pizza's. They have 22 more days i think. well wish my friends all the best! Yet again. i never fail to make them stare at the window pane.

alright! That is that for now.

by the days
by the days
you'd be surprised
if you take the time
to let Time be time
and Moments be moments.

2007-09-27T07:54:00.000-07:00

Like. N/TRMishen

2007-09-27T07:31:00.000-07:00

Today was like. very entertaining

Seng song, akang, stef, yusof, Gary and myself went to AMK hub. Everyone else except for me la. They were there for SEA games promotion or how shall i put it! AND to their dismay. i was actually postponed. I still can picture the look on their faces. like 0_0. haha. But it was a good change, for we ended up at this Nebo place and played jungle speed. for all those who played the game before, you must be guessing how much fun we had. RIGHT? For those who have not tried, you missed much ;) try it!

Stef came over. I tell you, we were playing winning eleven but it was more of penguins VS Prehistoric men! haha they could unlock suits that the players can wear to play. It's really funny. ya la. and stef won me 2 to 1 game. It's my penguin la. so round and bouncy hahaha. but i enjoyed the company! last time a friend came was.. hmmm the jumpers?

Well this hols is special. cause i learn. So i change, and improve. I spot my mistakes and get over them. Sometimes when life is so fast. we dont get chances to pause right? no matter HOW MUCH WE WANT TO. I had the blessing to pause life now. =) i'm thankful for that.

There he goes again
bouncing down the past.
This and that were
This and that were

Say
N/TRMishen
like a pause
like a pause

You can go through your life
never once feeling the pain of feeling for another
but then you have no love
you are like dust in the wind

Say
Missing faces
like you're so sad they're gone
so sad they're gone

You can go through your life
Never longing to be reach someone's heart, and touch it
but then you have no love
you are like chaff in wind.

And you cry so hard you smile
You smile so hard you cry

It's the very essence of saying a heartfelt goodbye.

Carry the cross

2007-09-25T23:45:00.000-07:00

yeah

count your days

its never yours!

Japan is really nice.

like there were mountians and really relaxing scenery

i felt really refreshed!

The Cat was from a pet shop in a place called li xiao lu. which is a road which close to make way fo rmany shops. There were many cats and dogs in the place. some were puppies and they were extremely small. really adorable!

The really nice scenery is very common in japan. where i stayed at? almost whereever your look you find a piece of landscape worthy of you whipping out your cam and snapping! well the scenery makes any noob photographer take good pictures! anyway my dad agree to let me use his canon EOS cam. which is really good. so i can take some shots when im free just for hobby! japan's really good for the nature. at least better than singapore. its has mountians everywhere. which explains the hot springs! when there is volcanic potential, there you will find a hotel built on that area. and there you have it! hot springs spa! haha.

The food is seafood. cause i went to hokkaido island. Sapporo? haha yeah thats the place! and i ate salmon, crab and abalone. wah. haha. Here was once we ate the king crab! we actually ate it so fresh as we chos ethe crab while it was alive! in the tank. the next moment it was in seperate parts on our plate. (sorry for the crab lovers).

well. japan really has ageing population. like almost everywhere i look. there's old people walking around. for every young person i see i see two old folks. really im not joking. then you have manga megastores. like way bigger than singapores biggest. but well i dont read so... haha

well thats really it! =) im just glad to be back really!

ohio!

2007-09-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

It's 1 am in Japan.
My brother is in soccerland
im still a jesus fan
GO! lets go japan!

Haha okay. i'm in japan. and its really nice here. had lots of mood changes
i choose to believe i did not let it affect myself enjoying the trip! honestly. i kind of missed
home. it's the people that kinda makes up the home. Like my cell group. jumpers and all of
those people. These people sure are important! but i think these are just gifts from GOD. what do you know. Anyday, anytime, God and take them away. Through conflicts, different views, different schools, different personalities i guess! and lastly through death. I thank God for giving me many wonderful friends. but i shall not be too indulged, for the people God put in my life is for loan. my job? the love them. :) sounds kind of weird, but hey, its one of the things i can find meaningful. so i got some gift! haha so the people back home who knows me well can be expecting.

Why am i saying this? well i dawns on me that God is yet again taking. I got lots of friends in the O levels class. somt of which i know very personally and many i wish to know more! But now it's coming to this time of the year when there's graduation and we really go seperate ways. well.
there's this for my friends taking the o's.

How time flies
swish it by
grab your camera
but your picture's old

how time flies
wish i told
how many times
i missed your tone

how time flies
look what now!
it's time to part
let time say sorry

how time flies
you may know
it never waits
let yourself forget them

Or take a trip down memory lane
and relive the moments
moments of pure growing up

Because time is this
a passing cloud of stone,
it changes,
it brings rain,
it brings the hardest of hearts, to utter disdain.

Goodbye!

Hide your face from my sin

2007-09-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hide your face from my iniquity

and cover my sin

Restore to me

the joy of your salvation

Today... had like a family arguement in which like my dad, mom and bro got involved. for me, Luckily i was not offended so i did not need to retaliate or make any of my points known. well i draw some lessons here

1. very clearly my family members were hitting at each other and NOT the problem.

2. they spoke in their anger

3. never think of the other person lor. keep thinking. "i'm right" "you're wrong"

well i admit i show these traits. sometimes focusing on the wrong thing and keep thinking i'm right. but its when im a neutral party and watching the whole arguement unfold. it's like i spot so many things in which could have been avoided. i begin to think how God looks upon us this way. When we have difficulty, and we just are so absorbed in our ownself and problems, we miss out the obvious answer. God sees the whole picture and wants to give us the answer. The answer difficult to apply, but has all-surpassing benefits. Well just for starts, i myself am very prone to missing things/answers right in front of my face. well lets hope i learn from today's lesson.

"be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" james 1.19

the words of james, applied to any arguement will be the remedy instantly. Challenge is not in knowing though. its the doing. BUT the spirit is like the all supporting one. who is the one that makes the gap between knowing and doing so close. thanks God he's in my life. steered me away from so many conflicts. Amen!

Btw that picture is in 2001 when i last went to Japan. im going again in 2007. leaving this coming mon. stay tuned for more pictures!

Epiphany

2007-09-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Cheng has injured his toe hmmm. Hope he's going to get better la
so funny he injured his toes while running after a BUS. like HUH? haha

I will carry the cross of christ!

Well today was eventfully enlightening. It's more of like a life check with dear santa
. aka the manipulator. aka the snky... okay ha! not so much. yeah He helped me alot
THANKS! hope that your mini will learn ya? santa? YOU READING RIGHT!

Time and time again
Thoughts and thoughts again
come and come again
when will it end?

The shy are strong
the strong are wrong
the wrong are right
but when will it end?

Knock on my door
my heart is close
are you still looking? you say
when will it end?

If your look for me now
you find moulding clay
in a fiery furnace, screaming
when will it end?

there and then
the control is there
the butterfly flies
then it shall begin!

T's the man

2007-09-10T05:59:00.000-07:00

Trouble is like this
you have thoughts flying in and out
every 4-5 seconds your mind loses it's concentration on one thing and think of another

Trouble is like this
one thought about your problem flys in
"He must have intended it!"
"I'll never make it"
"she probably likes me"
"She's causing the family to fall apart"
"He's the cause of the problem"
"He doesnt like me"

it's okay that thoughts like these come in
They maybe violent
but most of the time
subtle

Key is that this thoughts not always come from you
truth is satan puts stuff there
to MAKE YOU BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT OF IT
but don't fall for it

seize that thought, and forget it
or
Seize thath thought and dwell on it

Either way, you are either miserable, rashful
or at peace and gleeful.

I chose the latter! HEY
It was really good. TRY IT

Jump

2007-09-09T06:37:00.000-07:00

Jump!

from the start to the end

your mercy never end

from the scratch of the first

to the sand of the last

There's one person who im flying for

it's you

Fall

2007-09-07T04:12:00.000-07:00

Dickson's pose can seriously. seriously, beat the most emo guy in history lol~

Jesus, heal me
Father, hold me

I stand, I kneel
I cry,I feel
the World is crashing down
my heart is breaking now
Your word is taking down
all the sin

Word's alone ain't enough
Deed's alone are too tough
this i pray
this i pray

i just wanna
fall in love
fall in love
fall in love with you
i just wanna

fall in love
fall in love
I'd do anything to get to you

i've just recorded this song! it's called fall. thought it was quite tiring and tedious! a total of 3 hours put in. Had a space to make the song above 3mins. so i threw in a harmonica solo in the beginning. haha. Well, i was told to cut my hair. It shall be done. it's too 70's already claims my brother's girlfriend. haha. Spent soooo many time on my new com i hardly have time for God's word. but it really start to believe that spending time with God can be done without religiously sitting in one corner. amen!

Deliver the delivered

2007-09-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

farther and farther away
stray the strayed away
how can i say today
what i surely missed seeing two days aday!

Not ashamed of the gospel

2007-09-03T22:03:00.000-07:00

Today is going to be fun! Out to go jogging. gonna jog as long as i need to or can. see how far i can go. It's 8 days after my injury it's scary how im recovering so fast! O Praise God! Meeting cal at bishan and i'm going to visit my training ground in sec one. apparently i'm sec 4 and graduated already. hmm. time flies. Hope i can aim for 20 mins jog.

Don't let the things in life
The envy, loneliness, disagreements
Take away what is beautiful

Beauty is everywhere
if you struggle to find this monument
look at yourself.

Thailand pictures!

2007-09-03T09:14:00.003-07:00

i realised that on this new com i can post pictures

ENJOY!

Strength like no other

2007-09-03T08:33:00.000-07:00

You are my hope
Hope like no other
Reaches to me

in the fullness of your grace
in the power of your name
you lift me up
you life me up

Unfailing love
Stronger than mountians
deeper than oceans
reaches to me

IF i could do one thing?
Is to let my heart stay so close to God
that even when it turns to the likes of this world. i will not fall. Well today i went out with weizhen. it was really nice seeing her. after like one year plus! Well lets hope i catch her b4 her birthday. if not. the time shall be the weapon against the fight of fights =)

It's hard to walk
when you think of someone
then another one
then you mind thinks:

how many have spend time in there?
while pushing everything out?
could you tell every one the same powerful thing
with each time, nothing of it's full meaning?

In there they dwell
dancing, smiling and waving
they take my breathe away
they take my breathe away

So i call out once again
the magnificent painting is in my eyes again
for moments, mesmerized
for moments, petrified by emotion

eloi eloi. Will help me wait upon you
for the perfect one you meant for me
till then, keep my eyes free of lust
till then keep my heart safe

eloi eloi. help me wait upon her
her that shall be the bright number fifty
that will still continue to shine
even when the skin is old

Well said! so that's what i'm going through now, that feels loads better!
So tomorrow is going to be the rat-a-too-ee! with calvin kyser BEN ( long hairr)
and most importantly YUSOF . well he's one very nice person for company! =)
well thats two movies in one day, my pocket it lighter. well i'm spending most of my time now in front of my new laptop and playing harry potter and the order of the phoenix. which is really really real. it's like emma watson whenever you want it. haha joking.

I'm so glad that my life is all fixed. fixed cause Jesus is in my life. though i'm injured
but thank the Lord. His joy is in me! This break has been proving to be a good rest
i really am learning to enjoy myself.

Breaking free
of the chains of legalism than bound me
bound me, killed me, shot me, slashed me, tempted me, torn me
scorned me, mocked me, belittled me, broke all my bones in my spirit

but the word says
"Then you will know the truth , and the truth will set you FREE"
the precious words of john 8:32

A walk to remember

2007-08-30T06:59:00.000-07:00

It's the 30 of August. yes. Time is passing by really quickly.
Of the few things that happen in my short short life. here's what happened lately

Firstly thank you God for giving and taking away. That this year's trip to thailand
was something very different froom last year's. last year's one was filled with.

Pain
sorrow
sadness
moments of shots from the evil one

It's almost like a training ground. undetected by myself that i was under spiritual attack.
Now i learnt what i was facing. The lies the enemy shoots at me. how useless am i, how
worthless am i. That i can't live right. can't do right. That i was such a failure.
Now that this year i'm back stronger and better and more equipped. Satan never held me
I was free to do my best and God LAVISHED power and grace upon me. Praise the Lord
for 2 gold medals to His glory. I took home an injury though. a pulled hamstring which
kinda makes me limp now. Praise for Lord for this for i am grateful that i can be living with
Him. i know he will see me through. this time Satan can't touch me for im protected with
the mind of christ.

One thing about prayer. That for the long jump day which was right after my triple jump the very next day. i was feeling tight all over in my hamstrings. So i began asking God for help.
for protection especially. little did i know how powerful my prayers actually was.

For all first five jumps i asked God for protection. for the forth i asked for a good Board( i was hitting underboard mostly) the fifth i asked for good Jump good landing and high take off and good acceleration.

The forth jump was the winning jump 6.84. With perfect board. The fifth jump was a jump i felt
was past 7m. Bu fault= i did not ask for a good board. the last jump i asked for eveything but i did not ask for protection

At the take off board i pulled my hamstring.

If there's people reading this? I wanna say that my lesson is that God gives no matter who you are, not because of what you did but who he is. He is the one to meet your need no matter. Just ask of the Lord and he will give. Now that i know he's in control. i trust Him and ask regularly
for healing of my injury! For a good change. i do not feel that saddened by my injury. I am strong in the Lord for He comforts me and makes my way straight by letting my coach be understanding and giving me good treatment.

To God be the glory!

Direction

2007-07-25T22:15:00.000-07:00

New direction.

It's were we are heading
New style, New ways
New beginning

Shocking Truths
Nothing is sound
clever enough to be
Wild, wild, wild

End of road,
starting of fork
Bent away again
to uncertain fog

Seeking sure.
of everlasting love.
falling again in deep deep
love.

My saviour comes
with a mighty hand
lifts me up
on solid land

He found me
I was found
anything's fine with me right
now.

The nights are tensed
The case is red

Reading my bible
on my bed.

It's the ending of school this coming week. Very surprisingly, it's time to say goodbye. It was not long ago that i remembered sitting in my primary school and learning a song the Prefects tried to teach us. It was titled. "It's very hard to say goodbye".

Sometimes goodbye is like a punctuation. Or it can be a blade. It can also be a potion giving life to the dead.

Goodbye firstly spells for me a time of reflection. As I look back at my life in Sports School. How many friends i have made? How many people have i helped? How many lives have i been involved in? Then i look at my lowest points of my life in Sec three. I see memories that is framed so tightly in tears. the curves of the tear-spread, protected the heart of a very fragile me.

But stronger now :). Heaps stronger. Thank GOD. and EVERYONE who stood by me.

The Blade cut me when i realised i can no longer live 13 years old to 16 years old any longer.
This section of my life belongs to my memories. I really really cant get it back. live it again, or alter any part of it.

The blade Cut me, when i realised my time is yet ticking.

The Punctuation leaves my life in a disarray. The writer has to pause to think what is he going to pen down in the next paragraph of the essay.

Everything. you hold in your hands

2007-06-16T04:07:00.000-07:00

You have my heart
i am yours forever
you are my strength
God of grace and power

everything, you hold in our hand
still you make timefor me
i can't understand.

Praise you god
of Earth and Sky
how beautiful
is your unfailing love
Unfailing Love
and you never change
God you remain
the holy one
and my unfailing love
unfailing love

Love you Jesus!

WOO! OSTRAVA BABY!

Like never before.

2007-06-13T21:56:00.000-07:00

When lifes good for a man who had just been through the harsh waters.
He looks up toward heaven.

"The rain last year was so strong, so heavy. It is so sunny now though"

He then realises how people helped him, or didn't help him, He could not help but
to think about them. He figured the pain that he went through, is like the rain to
the dry, thirsty but young soul. From his glance at heaven, he looked across life's
bridge to the mass of people struggling. Struggling. struggling.

They never look up
They are always busy.
Busy with fulfilling the parents demands
Friend's demands, or just to keep with the crowd.

They cry alone and look in the mirror
Just to see how bad their crying had turned them into
They turn back and cry again.
Pity, pity. "why did i have to live?"

They only know life's this
To get through the days, merely breathing
direly cursing
Rumbling and grumbling.

They put on a mask
that hides all that they truly are
beautiful, good and pure
All and hidden so they blend in with the dark surroundings

The man shouts across the bridge\
"Hey! it's okay, you are going to be fine. Because when you think no one loves you
when you think your friends don't favor you, you teachers don't think highly of you
your parents only scold you. You only know that you are half a human, unable to face life's
tragedies.

There's someone there who loves you deepy. He throws his arms of love that will melt the
hardest of hearts, the stiffest of minds. He loves you no matter what you did wrong. No matter
how many times you can ever disppoint him, He loves you just the same.

This someone is Holy. He is a holy God.
Ready to forgive your sins, your guilt.
And give you eternal life.
And walk you across that bridge.
the bridge to Life!"

But the people on the other side looked up. Stared and some said
"Later!"
"i dont believe!"
"I dont care"

The man looked down at his shoes.
and ran as fast as he could across the bridge.

If you know you are not complete. You are far from heaven and life's great calling
Call upon the name of God. find comfort that he, the creator can mend things.
He alone rules everything and controls the waves that crash in your life.
God. My God can do miracles.

Homesick and asking for rain

2007-06-09T06:48:00.000-07:00

It's only one kind of person
That can rejoice in defeat
smile in the storm
praise the King

That person is walking with a candle
with Jesus by his side
guiding, so fatherly, so gently.
He can never look back, never.

Well. today was just... funny man!
I just thought i could make it. 7m for long jump! but somehow it never pulled through
not even when i had a good jump. This is the 5 th comp trying. Somehow i never felt any better.
my ankle is jammed. quite pain. but i found comfort in one man. He's name is paul.

paul lived way back when people dont have underwear or t-shirts yet. They wore clothes.
they travelled in donkeys and camels. One guy travelled on a cloud. cool times those days.
Paul is a man who is fervent in what he believes in. call him a radical. chiongser. anything! He goes all out for what he believes in. He believes in God.

But at that time people don't like what he did. Going everywhere telling everyone that YOU HAVED SINNED. YOU ARE GOING TO A LOST ETERNITY. YOU CAN"T GO TO HEAVEN WITHOUT JESUS. and finishing it off with. WILL YOU RECEIVE JESUS IN YOUR LIFE?

so they tried to stone him(yeah in those days they don;t pick pebbles, mind you they have really
large rocks in those times) They jailed him. you name it. guess what? Paul never gave up.
instead, he says.

"If i must boast, i will boast in the things that show my weakness"
"so that Christ's power may rest on me... i delight in weaknesses, in sults, in hardships, in difficulties."

And here's the killer
"For when i am weak, then i am strong"

From 2 corinthians 11.

I was encouraged by this man. Did he live a meaningful life? you bet. i can only look at my losses
and say. "Paul, if i were you. i'd be praising god for keeping me humble, for letting me know that
God is the one who bring s person up and down." I was looking at his life and i was wondering what on earth is there in Jesus that made him do all that. Was it emotion? stern belief? His Ego? a prize? His personality. oh there it is

When he was killing Christians himself before, He was suddenly struck by God and was blinded.
Then God said "why do you persucute me!" And the rest was history. HE never looked back

Thank God for Paul. though i can never be as crazy as him, (imagine changi prison and the whiping) I sure can learn from him.

Thanks father, you are still, Still , still Good and Holy thought i have missed the mark again.
Thanks that am able to compete. Father i heard that you will grant my wishes if i try my best
Lord i was put in effort. for your glory. alone.

Then he was riding along the land of opportunities
and they slip away, each begin so close.
He was getting really frustrated saying
"JUST ONCE!"

But the master never spoke the result.
he knew it'd cause him treat him like a wishing machine

I only know this.

2007-05-27T05:03:00.000-07:00

SALVATION.

it's a joy that is free for the inheritors. It's something humans can never attain by works or deeds. It's what makes this life our temporary and lousy home. It's what makes our achievements rather... obsolete. It's what gives meaning to an up till 78 year old on average singaporean. It's what makes tomorrow's o'levels quite insignificant.

Thank God for the jumps today! 14.42 If i had done better or worse, still God is to be praised!

What can i do with this life of mine. that will be fit for God to see. He took away my sins, my wrongdoings. and accpeted me for who i am. I became the heir of EVERYTHING that God promised and owned. Praise the Lord.

For the Singapore thats mugging tonight. All the best. and when the hurt and damaged put on that mask and bury themselves in Work. i pray that you will come to terms with your hurt. And sink it into the bottom of the sea. if it doesnt go away. Then JESUS will vapourze it. serious.

Dead serious.

Goodbye!

2007-04-29T22:42:00.000-07:00

haha!

Man is God Good. He made me so fearfully and wonderfully. He loves me and knows every part of me. He's a healer too. He can take my sorrows and my pain. surface it and make me feel it once again. But then admist the drops of tears, i felt something happen. Incredible. indescribable. And what do ya know. Maybe it was all gone!

Terrible history
reveals God's glory

Amen to God! =)

I really really hope to go world youth. though i have little ambition
i take things as it comes. lalala

The streak of the week

2007-04-15T04:13:00.000-07:00

Streaks broken!

For many many many competitions. Podium finishes are rare. Whatever it is. I needed to break that streak. Today was one such comp. Thank God for his power on me. It was abt to rain when i was attempting my second jump. it did1 drizzle and all that. BUT it stopped.

God wanted to me to jump for His glory.

What do you know. i jumped and glorified His name =) Amen!

Ice is thin enough for walking

2007-04-05T04:33:00.000-07:00

Mann. MMan. Maan!
Throat is dry enough for talking
storm is wild enough for sailing
bridge is weak enough to cross
home enough to know i'm lost

It's just enough to be strong
in the borken places.
it's just enought to be strong
should the world rely on faith tonight

Poor enough to give the treasure
heart is broken enough for mending others
uncertain enough to know He's certain
seen enough to know i'm blind

It's just enough to be strong
cause i'm relying on faith tonight

Faith's what you got when you are competing in two days time.and you hamstirng feels sore and overstrethed. Is it the expectations? or is it the faithless attepting the faith filled life.

Praise and glory to God for he's good everytime =)

losing Them

2007-03-30T05:45:00.000-07:00

Dont you question why it turns out this way
They used to talk
but they now don't say.

Have you laughed and cried
with someone standing by your side
to find that one find day
That someone goes away.

Your heart skips a beat
your tongue twists and
table flips
You now can't even say
"How are you?"

So i decided to walk on by
to let changes be changes and
say a silent goodbye
maybe the friend will be back someday
i'll wish this time i'd something to say

Losing them is hard
keeping it this way is harder
For distance makes the heart grow fonder
but fondness is the main destroyer

So what do i do with all these clues
To find out all was fought in blue?
In vain i say, away with this now
I can't take another silent sound

Now it's just a memory far away
To replay again at the end of the day
Say hello to the one great lesson of life
People change, And you can't point a knife.

I sometimes question things in life. try to take it into my own hands. Well this week
somehow i felt as if a lost a friend. any comments?

Crash and Cornerstones

2007-03-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

Crash and Cornerstones

Is it a lie that your eyes tell
Took me deep in a cut out spell.
Drained my attention, sucked my scope
you left me looking like a worn out dope.

You tagged along well
your story never tell
Bought a couple of sweets
for a sweet empty cell.

In that cell i rocked away,
by myself, it's hard to say
How your smile never withered
anyhow, anyway.

Guess i'll start to dream again
of a fairy tale told,that never end.
Tell me fast, tell me true
are you the one who'd make this end?

North attracts south, south to North
can anyone hear how they make this song?
A song of lost love, lost hearts, lost dreams
Which take you away to dead end street.

But attraction is distraction
so as losing someone in your arms.
Stay close now, "bye" is the sound.
If i could only switch poles back then
Maybe this friendship would never end

And we crash
North and south splash
only after i took this test
to find this puzzle all a mess

Breaking hearts and soundless phones
Who can believe i was so alone?
I looked up, and a bright light shone
"My God! This is my cornerstone!"

MercyMe

2007-03-25T04:50:00.000-07:00

Relays today!

hmm. went back to get tights for dickson. well what can i say. Go that extra mile =)
especially after heard Jesus washed his disciples feet. i too should serve others whether in big or small ways. Team performed really well!several records here and there. hearing the crowd cheer together is sometihng really special about track! Saw old faces from Catholic high, Asci, Chinese high you name it! life goes on. Next week is rather laxed so i'm not panicking for anything. mY ankle still hurts but i think it's getting better! hmm PRay to God for speedy recovery!

Bring me joy bring me pain, jesus bring the rain.

One day i'll stare into His eyes and He'd go, hey Matt, who'd you worship? three letter G or four letter G?

pages of decay

2007-03-23T17:46:00.000-07:00

Things of the past are on this written book
days and months passed
the book's getting heavier,
heavy with deception and deceit,
they know drowing in the pain won't heal you
but they say pain is what wakes you.

Old things meets new things,
they crash into a dilemma
we ask, " This or that?"
if we choose the old
to bring up that dusty past
those fading words
the rotting memories

We say we are reading the pages of decay

letting go

They only knew so much then

2007-03-23T06:04:00.000-07:00

wow. I can't believe i'm doing this. =)
now they can know more.